Sunday, August 30, 2009

I apologize (Originally posted on 11-14-05)

I apologize for mistreating you and being inconsiderate of your feelings. I apologize for not listening to you and going against your advice when I knew you were right. I apologize for knowing your worth but ignoring it. I apologize for putting you through unnecessary bullshit time and time again. I apologize for making you cry. I apologize for isolating you when what you really needed was the comfort of others. I apologize for disrespecting you repeatedly. I apologize for ridiculing you. I apologize for trying to destroy your spirit. I apologize for not honoring you. I apologize for being impatient. I apologize Nicole, for not loving you as much as you need, as hard as you need, as deep as you need as often as you need. I apologize Nicole, for allowing others to mistreat you, defeat you, use you, make a fool of you. I apologize Nicole, for not saying what needed to be said when it needed to be said. I apologize for not doing what needed to be done when it needed doing. I apologize for it all and I promise you that from here on out...things will be different. I love you Nicole.

Sometimes in order to move on, in order to facilitate healing, in order to forgive ourselves....we need to apologize to ourselves. We need to remember to love and honor ourselves. We need to recognize the divine in ourselves. We need to fall in love with ourselves at the crack of each dawn and love ourselves well past dusk. We need to recognize our own worth and never forget it. Love yourself today. Love yourself every day like that day is going to be the last day.

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