Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dante Thoughts Part II (Originally posted on 11-23-05)

This morning Dante was on my mind. I didn't cry and I wasn't sad. Actually I was quite happy. I reached back in remembrance and brought forth recollections of our most cherished times. I remember the summer we went to the Lake County Fair. That was a great day. We ate junk food until we were sick. We spent damn near the whole day throwing cups of water at each other, slipping ice cubes down one another's shirts and just generally acting foolish, lol. I remember how his hand felt in mine. Soft, warm, moist, his grip was he was afraid I would slip away. I remember how he smiled so deep it shown even in his eyes. He had the most beautiful lips I've ever seen on a man. Deep waves in his hair. His arms were so long he could wrap them around me twice. Now that I think about it, we were always throwing water at each other, lol. We had water balloon fights, we'd go to Fountain Square downtown and splash each other, we had water gun fights, we went to the beach once or twice a week every week, we went to the Y and he tried to teach me how to, we were some water loving fools. I still can't swim though, lol. I remember how his hands felt when he smoothed sun block on my body. God I miss his hands. I miss his smile. I miss him. He used to tell me all the time that I should smile more. So I did. Just for him. I remember our first date. It was so awkward at first, lol. I still have the receipt from that first date. We met for pizza and spent 3 hours just talking. I remember our first kiss almost two months later. It was so sweet, so first anyway. Then it deepened. He kissed me like he could taste my soul. His fingers caressed my face, neck and shoulders, stroked my arms. I put my hands around his waist so I could pull him closer to me. I wasn't even looking for love when he came into my life. I was going through my divorce at the time and was so very uninterested in men. But then I met Dante. God I miss him. For our first and only christmas together he gave me the most precious gift I've ever received. No matter how long I live, no matter how much money someone spends on me, the gift Dante gave me will always always always be my most precious possession. He gave me every poem he'd ever written. It was wrapped beautifully, covered in tissue paper and topped off by a beautiful cover letter. God he loved me, he still loves me. I know he does because he said he always would. I feel his spirit with me. He touched me like I was made of fine spun glass. He touched me like I would shatter if handled too roughly. The first time we made love was terrible, lol. We were both so nervous...acting like inexperienced virgins. We were virgins to each other. He was the best I've ever had because he loved me soul deep. Not just with his body and words but with his very soul. He made me feel so loved and I was precious to him. I was precious to him. I am precious to him still. Our love did not die with lives on in me.  He's resting in peace but still watching over me.

Remembrance without sadness is a beautiful thing. I sure do miss him. I'm going to post the first poem he wrote for me. He gave it to me on my birthday.

Love Inspiration

Surreal, a suppressed desire, a fantasy too good to be true, yet you're embedded in my mind

You have a compelling resonance, a glow about you, a radiant Diaspora of excelling beauty, immaculance and the essence of all that is heavenly

I want to be inside of you mentally, physically and spiritually

I want to know your precious thoughts, secret inhibitions and forgotten taboos

You're blessed with beauty that is envied by Venus

Beauty only surpassed by your genuine personality

The perfect creation unifying the impossible collation of human qualities; sexually seductive, intellectually superior, profound spiritually and angelic beauty suppressed only by your own self-imposed limitations and fears

Your honesty and truthfulness encompass me with tranquility and euphoria

You have brought a new energy, a new spontaneous revelation essential to my life

The overwhelming pleasure and ecstasy of savoring the taste of your soft, sweet, delicious lips

Dreams of embracing your warm, luscious, delicate body

With a dynamic shape that is so captivating it appears as an illusion

Touching your smooth, silky, bronze skin

Hypnotizing, deep, exotic eyes that enchant and allure me in a trance of intoxicating emotion resulting in the unrestricted passion of true love

Ask me about my love for you and I will tell you it flows deeper than blood, rooted securely in my heart never to part

The cardinal foundation of our developing love, effortless attraction against all odds and prevailing feelings ordained by fate

I'm blinded by my paramount, uncontrollable visions of my affection for you

Everyday I find reasons why my love continually grows endless and only for you

Now and Forever, Love Always,


That right there is one of the reasons I will never again settle for less than what I deserve. I know what I deserve...I've had it before with him. I wasn't looking for Dante and he just appeared in my life and changed it dramatically. He loved me deeper and better than I loved myself at the time. It's going to be difficult but I'm going to wait for another Dante. If the Creator did it once the Creator can do it again. I know that in this huge universe another Dante awaits me. I'm going to wait on him too.

I love you Dante


ms. bliss honeycomb said...

i know that love...

bless his life.

Jermaine said...

I just want to say that that was beautiful. I am sorry that he is gone from you but you are right God will bless you again. I wish more people would look for a love like this.

tiffdoowop said...

beautiful. i'm just waiting for your book.