Good Morning! (Originally posted 7-19-05)

I feel great this morning! I slept pretty well, had good dreams and upon awakening I had my ancestors on my mind. I will most definitely be creating my ancestral shrine by weeks end. Though this is my first time mentioning it, building an ancestral shrine is very important to me. More often than not, I have found myself feeling disconnected spiritually (especially since renouncing christianity). I am certain that connecting with my ancestors and allowing them to guide me will bring me some much needed clarity and peace.

Today is going to be a great day...I can feel it.

Sometimes I touch myself...(Originally posted Wednesday, March 30, 2005)

And when I do, I marvel at how good I feel. My skin is soft....I use dove moisturizing body wash (Lever 2000 after working out) and Johnson's baby lotion afterwards. Skin fragrant, tender and smooth.....sometimes I pretend my hands are His. Whose? Him, whomever He is.....you know, the one who will love it like I do....maybe more. I like searching, seeking, touching, exploring, just appreciating the suppleness of my shoulders, neck, arms, thighs, etc. Sometimes I touch myself to the accompaniment of music. I stroke my bare shoulders to the strains of Get Lifted Again by John Legend....on repeat. It makes me feel sexy and desirable. I caress my sides, ribcage and tummy to the sounds of John Coltrane's In a Sentimental Mood....thoughts of moon drenched shores behind my closed eyes. Damn, I'm so soft, can't get over how good I feel. My perfume drifts up to my nostrils when I cross my arms over my chest to caress the back of my neck, shoulders and back. Hmm, what words come to mind....sexy, sensuous, slender, soft, pliable, lush, deep, rich, intense, exciting, illicit, pleasurable, aroused, erotic, moans, taste, exquisite, touch, enjoy, pleasing, gratifying, rub, thrust, penetrate, fulfill, climax, quake, shudder, release.....


Mmm, one of these days my divine mate will manifest and he'll be like the following Talib Kweli song:

Talib] Let me holla at you

[Talib and Bilal] Can I talk to you?(x5)

[Talib] I want you, cuz you make my heart skip the beat that I drum to I want to be the one you run to, when pain confronts you You're everything, sometimes I get nervous when I'm in front you You can hear it in my voice when I ask you if you comfortable Look how love do, I'd practice the Art of War for you like Sun Tzu Come through and arouse you every morning like the sun do If you blackout and collapse I want to help you to come to Notice I haven't yet gotten to what I want from you I want you to come to when I come through and make you shine like the sun do I want you to be the valley for my river to run through You're everything, send your soul through your lips to my heart Sweet music will start I want you to be the muse for my art When people try to rip us apart we got to work to stay together Go through the seasons of love and never change with the weather This is my wish list, what I want not what I need there's a difference These days I'm learning that words got power so I'ma be specific

[Bilal] Can I have a talk with you? Can I make a dream come true? Can I be in love with you? Cuz I would if I could

[Talib] Yeah sunflower You must live in the infinite blackness that exists when I close my eyes I see you when I fall asleep, I see you when I dream

[Bilal] Lil' darlin' Set your soul on fire (lil' darlin') Be your one desire (lil' darlin') Lil' darlin' Can I talk to you? (lil' darlin') Lil' darlin', lil' darlin' Can I talk? (lil' darlin') Can I talk, can I talk, can I? Lil' darlin' (lil' darlin') Can I talk to you? (lil' darlin') Let him talk to you Set your soul on fire


Until then....I'll keep marveling at my own softness, loving myself and acquiring the elemental (knowledge & wisdom). Still pumping that John Legend...this song turns me on. Rest easy y'all.