Though I saw, I made myself blind. Though I heard, I made myself deaf. Will I continue in ignorance that isn't ignorance that lacks bliss or will I tuck the hurt in my back pocket, say fuck it and kick rocks to a new destination? Metaphorically speaking of course. I have this queasy, ugly, funky feeling in the pit of my stomach. Why? Why must people/things be so complicated? Why, when things can be simple, and lovely, and whole, and right do people have to go and fuck it up? People should either be straight up or take their crooked asses to the next jawn. Don't hold on to what you have because you're waiting for something better to show up...just let that shit go. Shit why am I even asking why? I have the power to let the shit go...but I hesitate. Why? Is it really that deep? Is it really worth hanging on? How long do I have to wait for it to get better, for the bullshit to stop stinking, for the deceit to stop deceiving? I swear I've been trying. I've been so good, so true, so "perfect", just not perfect enough. I say the words and mean them. I touch and feel it. I give and give and give and give until it hurts and then I turn around and give some gotdamn more. What do I get in return? A metaphorical knife in the gotdamn back. The world is a small place you know. Made smaller by virtue of the internet. Some muthufuckas should think about that when they say and do what they say and do. But let me slow my roll, turn my frown upside down and....take this back, back, back, back. The man that angers you conquers you. People only do to you what you allow them to. What's done in the dark comes to light. Fool me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me. What you sow; so shall you reap. If it ain't right; it's wrong. Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you. What to do? Fuck this.