I received one phone call from him this weekend (Saturday night) and we spoke for two minutes. He said he would call me back but he never did. Did I miss something? Am I reading too much into this? Now there have been other questionable moments but I ignored them because I just didn't give a shit then. I mean, I had other things going on with other people so I wasn't concerned about his inconsistent behavior. But things are different now. Is this payback? I mean, now that I've decided to make an emotional investment is shit gonna blow up in my face? Now I didn't just decided Thursday to invest, it's actually been an ongoing process, but Thursday was the catalyst. This is what I was afraid of...the not knowing part. This makes me want to leave him a voicemail saying never speak to me again. Afterwards I'll delete and block his numbers and pretend he never existed. That's the coward in me. That's why I keep all my relationships shallow...can't get hurt if you don't care. Anyway, I don't think I'm going to see him today. I figure if we were to see each other, he'd have made contact by now. I'm sliding back into my fuck 'em mode (it doesn't take much). If he calls I'm not going to answer the phone. As a matter of fact, I'm just gonna go out with someone else. Fuck 'em. It's not like he's my man.
In other news...I had a conversation with my ex-husband today. It was a good conversation. We didn't argue or get mad at each other...we had a nice civilized conversation. He knows me better than anyone else on earth. He says I'm too cold, distant and unforgiving. I agreed with him. He also said that when I'm nice I'm too nice. Again, I concurred. He told me I should stop playing games and settle down. I didn't agree with that. I don't play games I just keep my options open. He remarried and had a new baby and I think that's good for him...but I'm not sure I want to remarry. I mean most marriages fail anyway. What's the point? Ultimately I'd like to have an exclusive companion but I'm not sure if that's in the cards.
Other than "Mr. Wonderful" being shady, I had a great weekend. I got to relax, see a bunch of movies, eat some good food, chill with some cool people, have my ego stroked and I found two cute pieces for my Autumn collection. Also, I'm almost finished with Nile Valley Contributions to Civilization...this book is extraordinary! I'll Mos Def reread it. That's all for now.