Sunday, July 12, 2009

"Mr. Wonderful" (Originally posted 7-23-05)

I had the most wonderful time with a wonderful man. I will call him "Mr. Wonderful".

We've been hanging out for a few weeks now...he started out as a painkiller for the "O" ache. I like him. He's highly intelligent, sweet, gentlemanly, handsome, a Scorpio, many things to like about him. *Tummy flutters* Rebound? Quite possible. Do I care right now? Not really. He makes me feel good.

So last night, we shared an evening of intimacy without sex or made my spirit soar. At one point in our conversation we spoke on love. How to recognize it, nurture it and keep it. We didn't get as deep as Khalil Gibran, but we did manage to explore fathoms together that otherwise would have gone unchallenged. I told him (as I tell many people) that love and loving are simple to achieve; people make love difficult. A person could fall in love every five minutes if they gave themselves permission to, but they won't and don't. You see, folks are afraid, insecure, selfish, self-centered, etc. Loving requires you to abandon those things (to some extent anyway). Most people can't do that, mainly due to fear. I have no problem loving people and falling in love. Actually, I'm too good at loving people and falling in love. I assume (life hazard, I know) that all people are inherently good and that they have the best intentions. Does that make me extremely optimistic, unrealistic or a naive fool? All three actually, lol. Regardless, I believe there is a tremendous lack of love and loving relationships (of any kind) in the universe.

Getting back to "Mr. Wonderful". So during our conversation (and amidst much caressing, kissing and embracing) he quips that he appreciated me whole heartedly and that he found it very possible to love me. Mind you, we are lying in bed (fully clothed but aroused to the point of critical mass) during this exchange. Though I believe in love and it's power I'm a bit of a skeptic...lust has just as much power too you know. At any rate, his declaration appealed to the romantic in me but it put the skeptic in me on guard. Had we not been in bed in the middle of the night, perhaps I could have believed him with fewer reservations. After all, I'm worthy of love and very lovable. But alas, I am world weary so his words were sweet but just words to me.

In those moments I was so aroused I was ready to throw caution to the wind and rip both our clothes off and take him. But guess what...he wouldn't do it. He said that though the moment seemed ideal, he didn't want either of us to have a shadow of a doubt that sex, was exactly what we both wanted. He went on to say that just like I considered what I had to give to be precious, his body was also a temple and precious...he couldn't just give it on a whim. Well color me stunned...that was definetly a first. A man turning down wet puss from a beautiful mostly ready, willing and able woman? You're thinking what I was thinking right? Dude has hella integrity/morals/values or he's gay. I'm sure it was the former. We didn't have sex (but boy did I want to because I ain't had none in a while). What we did do, was fall asleep in each other's arms after spending the entire evening basking in the glow of one another's company. Regardless of whether he's running game or he's just that decent, I truly did enjoy his company that night and I would do it all again with the same results (no sex). It was one of the most beautiful evenings I've ever had. Intimacy without sex or intercourse.

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