5 of 30

I recently accepted a challenge created by one of my twitter friends called 30 in 30. The idea is to write/post a new poem every day for 30 days. This promises to be very interesting for me seeing as how I've been going through some personal struggles as of late. At any rate, here's my fifth offering...


Pardon me while I panic


I'm afraid of losing your scent forever
Already I am having a hard time remembering things about you
Things you told me...the sound of your voice
I don't want to lose the images and sounds of you throwing your head back and lauhging boisterously
I so miss your arms around me
I miss your smile and your "don't bullshit me" look
I miss our Thusday night dinners
And you complaining about your job
I miss your long fingers gripping cards during bid whist games
I even miss your drunken rants on wholeliedays
You will miss Courtney and Kari's high school and college graduations
You will miss your great-grandchildren
You will miss all five of your children being together in one room
And I'm panicking
Because we are not on a break
I cannot hop in my car and drive 20 minutes to see you
You will not be telling me you love me and calling me your birthday present
I will celebrate our birthday alone
Pardon me while I panic
I can't accept that you're gone

4 of 30

I recently accepted a challenge created by one of my twitter friends called 30 in 30. The idea is to write/post a new poem every day for 30 days. This promises to be very interesting for me seeing as how I've been going through some personal struggles as of late. At any rate, here's my fourth offering...

Once upon a time

You spoke poetry and prose to me

You wove a treasure trove of stories for me

You sang me songs and took me along when you dreamt your dreams

You were mystical and magical

You made me believe we could have something fantastical

But the frog remained a frog after my figurative kiss

The poison apple left the bitterest taste on my lips

Your words became null and void

Promises broken

Attention divided

I can no longer confide in you

I left you a breadcrumb trail to my heart but still...you lost your way

I have tried to meet you more than half way, but you resist

I insist and you flee

How silly of me

End of story

Playing with makeup (1)

So the other day, when I was extremely bored and hiding from my emotions...I put on some makeup and made a video about it. I've been dabbling in makeup application since about March 2009 I believe. I never did it as a child or teen so now in adulthood, I'm trying to get it in. I've not perfected any techniques/looks, I just do what I do after watching tutorials on youtube. Since I'm a veritable novice (and uber frugal) I only buy makeup from drugstores when it's on sale. I have a few high end items, but only because they were free with qualifying purchases of non-makeup items. At any rate, here's my first "look of the day" makeup vid.



The intro...





The feature presentation, lol...

November 26th, 2009

On this WholeLieDay (also known as thanksgiving, bleh) I spent time with my family eating, talking shit and of course...shooting footage. It was a nice day and I put on 10 pounds.

3 of 30

I recently accepted a challenge created by one of my twitter friends called 30 in 30. The idea is to write/post a new poem every day for 30 days. This promises to be very interesting for me seeing as how I've been going through some personal struggles as of late. At any rate, here's my third offering...


Fuck love
That bitch ain't nothin' but trouble
She does more damage then Kobe scorin' triple doubles
I gave her a chance and she screwed me everytime
She is to me what words are to mimes
I saw the signs but ignored them...because love is blind right?
Well that bitch never told me I should be like Lionel and use sight beyond sight
But it's cool because I'm through, I won't continue to be love's fool
You can praise that bitch if you want, but you'll end up like me too



This is basic and it sucks and I don't care.

2 of 30

I recently accepted a challenge created by one of my twitter friends called 30 in 30. The idea is to write/post a new poem every day for 30 days. This promises to be very interesting for me seeing as how I've been going through some personal struggles as of late. At any rate, here's my second offering...
 

I'm shutting down for a while

When I get too angry or sad...

I just shut down

I don't want to feel or think

I just want to be

Sometimes I don't even want to be talked to

I'm just through

Through trying to please you, you and you

Through trying not to say the wrong thing

Through feeling too deeply

Through trying to disguise my disgust

I just want to be

Welcome...my new name is apathy